Being a mother

I will say this and probably offend everyone who reads it, but here it is as plain as I can say it:

Giving birth does NOT make you a mother, it takes more than giving birth to be a mother.
I get so annoyed when people say things like, “your mom deserves your love because she gave you birth.” So do I not deserve Madilyn’s love because I did not give birth to her? Why exactly should the process of birth grant a person unconditional love?
For the record I think that people should have to pass a series of tests before becoming parents, some people just don’t need to have children. While doing foster care I saw the results of horrific abuse. David and I were more parental and loving to the children in our care than their parents ever were. Should these abusers who gave these children birth receive love just because they gave the child life? I don’t think so.
I also hate comments like “Do you know her REAL mother?” Yes, I am her real mother. Do I look fake to you?
These comments are like a slap in the face because I could not give her life but I do currently give her a life. The woman who gave her life is NOT her mother, I am. She chose not to be a mother and I choose to love and care for a child that was not wanted by her so-called “mother”.
A mother does not expose you to abuse prior to birth, try to sell you and then try to blackmail the people who are trying to be your family. A mother loves you and cares for you no matter what. I would hope that my child loves me even if I did not give birth to her. I would hope that when Madilyn learns of her life story that she will know that I am her mom and I chose her and she was not forced upon me like most other children are forced upon their parents.

Comments are closed.