I often get asked if I would adopt again, and the answer is YES. I would love to adopt another child. However, the cost of adoption is so great I just don’t know if it is possible. When I say cost of adoption I am not just talking about the financial cost but also the emotional cost.
The process we went through to adopt started in 2003 (with foster to adopt) and did not end until 2009 (with private domestic adoption). It was a LONG and emotional roller coaster ride. Of course, during the process we learned a lot and know what to avoid should we ever decide to adopt again.
The road to a finalized adoption is filled with stress after stress. There are home studies to complete, finger prints to get, financial reports to organize, and home inspections to pass. Having your life looked at under a microscope by social workers and adoption agencies is not a picnic. We had a few failed matches along the way that added to the pain and stress.
The financial aspect of adoption is another big stress. For some reason to adopt in the US it takes between $25,000 and $40,000. It was a miracle we had the money to do this the first time around. Many people don’t know this but our adoption was funded mostly by a recurring tax error. For years David and I over paid our taxes because of the complicated tax laws that are in place for those who are self-employed. When the error was finally caught and corrected we received a check for around $15,000 in the mail from the IRS. Had this mistake not been made I am not sure that we could have raised the funds needed to adopt.
I cannot imagine my life without my wonderful daughter. I hate that adoption is financially out of reach for many families. I wish that reform would take place that would enable families to adopt without all of the personal and financial stress.
Tags: Adoption, birth parents