Another bad day

I had another bad day today. I just don’t understand how people in my extended family can show more compassion to a person who is on TV than to their own family members. Several members of the family have not once said, “we are sorry,” or “I’m praying for you,” however, they post in public places that they are praying for someone from a television show. This baffles me, here I am in pain and they have continued to ignore the pain and have continued to not even acknowledge our loss.

A few family members have sent well wishes and cards and just knowing that they care and grieve with us has helped. It is the inconsiderate members of the family that make me wonder what I have ever done to deserve no concern from them during this time.

I just really do not think that many people realize that the loss of a child prior to birth is very hard. I lost a baby that I loved, not a glob of tissue. While the baby was not born, it was still a baby that was loved very much and had a soul. Just because I never held the baby in my arms does not make the loss any easier. I will never forget having to sign the paper at the hospital disposing of the baby. It said, “Mother’s name Donna J. Lloyd, and “Babies Name = Unnamed Baby Lloyd.”
I am fighting to stay sane. I am fighting to continue to be a good mom. I am trying to overcome these emotions. It is just hard.

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