Christmas Eve.

Overall today was pretty good. I hate that my day can be trucking along and something simple can make me loose it. This afternoon as we left for the Christmas Eve service we checked the mail. There was a card in the mail that was meant to be encouraging and uplifting, but it just hit me the wrong way. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed and cry– not go to church.

The service was alright. I could not concentrate because I was overcome with grief. It’s been a month. When will it get easier? I just hate that I am so weak. People keep telling me how strong I am if they only knew how weak I really am they would be surprised. But as they say “Life must go on.”
We let Caleb and Madilyn open 1 gift each tonight. Caleb opened an I-Tunes card, so he and David spent the evening shopping on I-tunes. Madilyn opened up an ABC Caterpillar. She loved it.
If I don’t cough a lung out tonight things might be alright. I can not stand being sick, especially during the holidays.

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