Open Adoption

I really wish people would quit looking at me all bug eyed when they ask me if we are in an Open Adoption (OA), and I say no. By the look on their faces you would think I had just confessed to committing a major crime. OA is an option, not a requirement to adoption.

When we entered the world of adoption we explored all of our options with open minds. The type of adoption we wanted to participate in was our choice to make. The decision we made was done after much discussion and thought. We made a decision not to participate in OA based on our research, personal feelings, and life style.  We were upfront when writing our family profile and when speaking with adoption agencies concerning potential situations. Some of the agencies told us that we would be picked faster if we would agree to an OA. We were also reminded more than once that OA’s are not legally enforceable in most states. Legally enforceable or not, we are people of our word, so we decided to remain upfront and honest about our preferences.

During the past several years OA has become common and is now the norm. I have noticed that those who post any opposition or question OA are made out to be closed-minded, bad guys. I find it amusing that when you go with the flow you are considered to be wonderful people but when you go against the “current norm” you are horrible selfish people. It should be noted that those who place children for adoption can choose not to place with families seeking Closed or Semi-Open adoptions, this is a point that is missed by most who criticize adoptive parents who are honest and will admit to not participating in OA.

Technically we have a semi-open adoption. Limited information has been shared and contact can be made through a third party if needed. We do have enough information that when Madilyn is older she will have the means to make contact if that is her desire.  The decision for contact or no contact will be hers to make. When the time comes she will be fully supported no matter what she decides to do.

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