Four Things

study_2I am trying to be as open and honest in my blog post as I can be without over sharing. My hopes in posting most of these post especially those in the religion and fitness categories is to help others. My openness may be uncomfortable for some.

I feel like I am being directed to make some changes in my life.  Nothing major just a few little tweaks that will make me a better wife, mom, employee, and Christian.  I feel I am being challenged in four areas: being open, showing love, being grateful, and trusting.

Being Open. I am shy. Quit laughing I really am shy. Most people do not believe this because I have a job that makes it necessary that I talk to strangers on a daily basis. I am able to do that because I am confident in my work abilities. I am confident in who I am as a teacher and mentor for students in the work field.  However, the not at work Donna is very opposite of the at work Donna. It takes a lot for me to open up to other people. Sometimes I feel that if I open up too much people will judge me based on my past. I also feel at times if I open up that people will feel like I am trying to get attention or that I am over sharing. It is a hard line for me to walk. What is the balance between enough and too much?

I am really going to try to be more open not only here on my blog, but in real life encounters.

Showing Love.  I also have a difficult time showing love to others. I am not a touchy-feely type of person. I like to have my own space. While most mothers love to snuggle, sometimes it is just too much for me. My long hair gets pulled, elbows get drilled into my body parts, it is just not comfortable for me.  A long term back injury and other body aches and pain really does make it hard to enjoy cuddling with my kids. I do love my children even though I am not a big cuddle fan.  Sometimes I fear that my children may not see enough of my love for them.

I am trying to be emotionally available to those outside of my family. I know friends need love and support but I am often perplexed on how to show love when I can not even find the right words to say comfort them. I know that there are many ways to show love and support, I just have a hard time deciding what is best way to demonstrate love in different situations.

I am going to try to demonstrate my love to others in a more tangible way.

Being grateful. I know that sometimes I take things for granted. I don’t want to be a person that begins to just expect things because that is how it has always been. I want to be grateful for all I have been given. I am especially grateful for my wonderful husband. I hope David knows how much I love and appreciate him and all he does for our family.

I am going to try to be more vocal about how grateful I am about the blessings I have in this life.

Trusting. I have a hard time trusting others, especially those who have hurt me or done wrong in the past. It is very hard for me to recognize that people have changed.  I think it is common to be untrusting of others, when we have been wronged by them in the past.

I am going to remember that I myself am a changed person and I and everyone else that has claimed to have changed deserves to be trusted.

I have a lot to work on, and change will not happen overnight. However, change will happen.




Comments are closed.