Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith, he said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 15: 25-30.
A few weeks ago my pastor talked about “Doubt.” He did not use the passage above in his sermon but it immediately came to mind when he started his message on doubt. By faith, Peter started walking toward Jesus on the water. However, he became afraid and began to doubt. He let his fear and doubt over power his faith. It is easy to judge Peter and say, “I would never do that, I would have walked all the way to Jesus.” Can we really make that statement when we spend so much of our time and energy doubting God in our own lives?
I often start to sink because I let doubts into my mind. I often start to sink because I let the words of others plant doubt into my mind. I had a time in my life that I let so much doubt enter into my heart and mind that I was an emotional wreck. I was unable to worship, pray, or even live a normal daily life because I doubted his love and care for me. Even now sometimes I am drawn to tears because I doubt that God is listening to my prayers, because the answers never seem to come. My heart tells me to not doubt but this human mind I have sends me so many other messages.
Life is full of unknown roads and circumstances. Oftentimes we are so easily moved from walking in faith to drowning in doubt. I know that I should always keep moving forward no matter what happens. I also know without a doubt that God is in control, but this knowledge does not prevent me from ever doubting. We may not understand what is going on but it is all in God’s control, if we will just release control to him.
Even the best of Christians sometimes doubt, but we should always strive to be walking on the water toward him not cowering in the boat or sinking in the deep. I am working hard at walking on the water, its not easy but it is necessary.