Chasing my Normal

normalEven though no one can really define what a “normal life” is  I think we all strive to be normal. We all define normal in our own way to fit our own unique circumstances.  For the past few months our normal been disrupted and it is driving me nuts. I feel like I am chasing it, but can never catch up to it. I want my normal back.

For me normal is a spotlessly clean home, always caught up at work, and a hot dinner on the table every night. At least that was my normal for the past 18 years. I used to be a superstar at managing it all. I made it all look so easy to those looking in from the outside. Hot dinners were on the table every night. The house was not only spotless clean but super organized. I never thought about work after 3:45, because I was always caught up on everything. I even had time to play with my kids.  I managed it all, and I managed it well. I enjoyed my normal.

Now I just feel like I am letting it all fall apart. I don’t seem to have enough hours in the day to get it all done. I can hardly keep up with my job, house work, and cooking. I feel like I have to pick and choose can be done and what can be neglected. I very much dislike this feeling and want to get my groove back. I feel like my home is never organized or as clean as I would like. I feel bad when I tell the family for the third night in a row we are having left overs. I have so many deadlines looming at work, that at times I just don’t know where to start. I have skipped more workouts than I care to admit. I can not figure out what happened, or what has changed.  Why is my normal eluding me?

I was hoping that after Spring Break that a normalcy would return to our lives. Our normal did not return, and I am not liking our new normal. Maybe this summer I can get it all back on track again.  Maybe I need to find a new normal that I can live with. I don’t have the answer but I sure am planning to work on the solution.

How normal has your life been lately?


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