Many people have asked me how to get started when it comes to adopting a child so I thought I would post a series about how David and I got started moved through the journey of adoption. The steps that we followed may be helpful to others who are thinking about adoption.
In my opinion the first thing you need to do is pray. David and I did not just decide to adopt out of the blue. We prayed and thought a lot about adoption and our reasons for wanting to adopt prior to making the decision to adopt. Once you decide adoption is the method you will use to expand your family you will have a long road ahead of you. Friends and family may or may not understand or be supportive of your decision. Be prepared for a wide array of reactions from the people in your life. For the most part our friends and family members were supportive of our decision to adopt. I know that along the way when we had our hearts broken with failed matches it also broke the hearts of many of our friends and family.
The first thing I suggest doing even before you contact any agencies is to talk to people that you know who have adopted. While their stories will all be different they can give you pointers on where to start and mistakes to avoid. Some of the stories may be sad or scary, but it is important that as potential adoptive parents you are fully aware of what you are getting into.
I also suggest reading adoption blogs and discussion boards. This will enable you to familiarize yourself with terms used in the world of adoption and will serve as a resource when you have questions about adoption. You should be very careful about which adoption boards and blogs you are reading, because they are not all created equal. You will want to find balanced resources that addresses all members of the adoption triad. There are many message boards and blogs out there that bash adoptive parents, and many that bash those who have placed children for adoption. These boards really serve no purpose other than to make people angry. You will really need to have your “filters” in place when you begin to research adoption. One of my favorite adoption discussion boards is adoption.com. This message board has tons of information concerning adoption, and has many active members from all sides of the adoption equation.
Once you feel like you have done enough research your next step will be to decide the avenue in which you wish to use to pursue adoption.
Next week I will post information concerning the different venues that are available in which to pursue adoption. There are many routes to choose from, so you have to pick the right one for your family.