David and I have been married forever. Okay, it has not been forever but it has been a long time, especially in current society where marriage is temporary for so many couples. We are sneaking up on 21 years of wedded bliss. Sometimes I can not believe that so much time has passed since we stood before a judge and said our vows. We married young after only knowing each other for nine months. Many people are surprised that we have somehow managed to not only stay married but happily married.
Over the years David and I have learned a lot and been through much as a couple. We have gone through periods of sickness and health, good times and bad, times of poverty and times of wealth, times of happiness and times of mourning. After all we have been through we are still standing as a couple. In fact we are standing together stronger than ever.
Our marriage does not just happen. We both work hard and strive to maintain a happy, healthy, and balanced relationship. Here are my top “Seven tips for staying married.”
- Quit being angry and bitter about the past. If you said you would forgive your spouse for something forgive them and don’t bring it up every time the waters get rough. Forgiveness means not holding the past in your arsenal for future use.
- Focus on the character of your spouse not the things you find annoying. There is a good chance you knew about the annoying habits prior to taking the plunge. So make the choice to ignore the things you don’t like and focus on the character of the person.
- Date your spouse. It is important that you and your spouse spend time together doing the same kind of things that brought you together in the first place. You should not become so consumed with work, kids, and other commitments that you no longer have time for your spouse.
- Focus not only on yourself but on the needs, wants, and desires of your spouse. Being married does not mean that you no longer matter, it does however mean that you are not the only one that matters.
- Support the dreams of your spouse. David has stood beside me for years while I pursued higher degrees. I have stood beside David as he has started his own business. It has not been easy for either of us, but we both understand the importance of supporting our spouse and the dreams that they have.
- Live within your means: David and I did not do this during the early years of our marriage. The debt we accumulated caused us stress and it took us years to undo the damage we did to our finances. I often think how much better our early years would have been if we would have lived within our means.
- Remove the word DIVORCE from your vocabulary. When David asked me to marry him he told me he did not believe in divorce and that marriage was forever. Its not a popular stance but we both feel that divorce should not be an option~ especially for Christian couples. Often couples enter into marriage knowing that divorce is easy to come by and they won’t even try to work out their issues. I get it… divorce happens people change, affairs happen, and abuse occurs causing the relationship to become unhealthy. I don’t judge those who divorce I understand that it happens. I just believe that couples should look at other options before taking that route.
I don’t pretend to be an expert on marriage I just have a great marriage and hope to help others do the same.
Tags: Marriage, Relationships, tips for a happy marriage, Tips for staying married