Despite what you may think life is not always roses and sunshine for the Lloyd’s. We have our rough patches in life. We just strive to stay positive. However, I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep upbeat and positive right now in this moment. With that being said, I am going to post and hopefully it will not come out negative, but it will not be all roses and sunshine.
Madilyn is doing well in school. However, she is testing her independence and is getting in trouble at home and school more often. She loves to hear herself talk and does not shut up for longer than 30 seconds. I really have no idea how her teacher handles her talking. I have very little time with her during the week due to work, so I hate spending the time we do have disciplining her. I want our time together to be fun, not full of consequences for bad behavior.
Caleb is doing great. It is so frustrating that he got a $76,000 scholarship, and the school may still be out of reach financially. Yes you read that right $76,000. My kid is smart and he is getting lots of scholarship letters right now. We are just praying that God will direct his path. We are also debating his living at home if he is close enough or living in the dorms. Home would save on housing, but his commute and gas would be terrible. I am at a loss as to how to help Caleb make these decisions. I don’t want his mess up his future because I can’t see past cost.
David is still looking for a job. He has had several good contacts this week. It is hard to keep on thinking positive when he has been without work for so long. David keeps reminding me that we are living a miracle. Our bills are all paid on time, and somehow we still have money in the bank and have not yet depleted our savings account. It is a miracle! My prayers to make our bank account be like the oil and flour miracle recorded in 1 Kings 17:16 are being answered. Now if I could just take the answer that has been provided and be satisfied and not stressed about a job life would be good.
As for me, work is becoming increasingly difficult. A person at work dislikes me. She has disliked me for years. She does her best to undermine me and make my life difficult. I am tired of being the better person by smiling and praying for her. However, this week I felt led to give her a gift. As hard as it was, I wrote her a card and gave her a gift as a thank you for organizing our “Secret Pal” program at work. I did not sign the card I made it a secret in keeping with the surprise of having a secret pal. Doing this act of kindness for this person did make me feel better. However, I do wish that she would just leave me alone and find some happiness and joy in her life.
I am still experiencing a health condition that I have had since September. I have been to the doctor several times. I am giving medication; the issue goes away and then comes back. I am tired of the pain. I am tired of the discomfort. I am tired of how this makes me feel emotionally. I am tired of the doctors. I am just tired of it all and need to experience healing so that I can get back to my normal life.
As you can tell I am in a struggle. I want to be positive. I want to be uplifting. I want to be smiling and loving. I am trying but could use your prayers.