Happy New Year (I hope)

So today is the first day of 2010. I really hope that this year will be better than the last. We spent the day traveling home from Gatlinburg. Traffic was not too bad and we were home early in the afternoon.

We decided to go to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It really scares me about how upset I can get over simple comments people make. One of the servers said, “you make such beautiful babies.” I know innocent comments like that should not get to me but they do. I love Madilyn and I am so blessed to have her as my daughter. Yes, she is beautiful on the outside, and with David and I as her parents she will grow up to be beautiful on the inside also. The comment the server made just hurt because I would really love to know what a baby girl “made” by David and I would look like. I will never find out and that hurts. You would think that I would be doing better by now emotionally but I am not. If I am not busy I am over whelmed with grief and sorrow. I really feel like I have to keep busy or I will go nuts.

People keep saying it takes time– how much time does it take? People keep saying God has a plan– When will we realize the plan?

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