Before the Morning.

The song Before the Morning by Josh Wilson, is really challenging me right now. I just really feel like I am in a pit that I can not dig myself out of . It seems that every time I take a step forward I take three steps back. I am trying so hard to “get over it and move on” but I just can’t. Sometimes I have trouble feeling God and knowing that he is here. I don’t understand why I have to be in the pain I am in and why David and I have to walk the road we are walking. Why must we take hit after hit? It is so hard to push on and have faith that God is in control when so much of my life is out of control.
Just about every time I hear the song Before the Morning by Josh Wilson, I cry. Because it is like the song was written for me right now for this time in my life. I am really trying to have faith that joy and peace is coming soon but some times it is so hard to remember that.
This week marks 5 months since my life began to fall apart and it still seems like it was just yesterday. I keep hoping that once I have healed from the most recent medical procedure that it will all get better. I am convincing myself that once the physical symptoms are healed the emotional healing can begin. Today I was put in a tail spin by not 1 but 3 people complaining about the discomforts of being pregnant. Don’t they understand that some people would do anything and endure any discomfort just to be able to hold and love a child when it was all over?
It has been a challenge to keep the faith, but I am not going to give up.
Lyrics– Before the Morning (Josh Wilson)

Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending

Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer

And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture

Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory

It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

3 Responses to “Before the Morning.”

  1. sheldon family says:

    so sorry Donna! praying for you. & i need to check out that song…

  2. hotroxboggsy says:

    Hey girl. I don't know exactly how you're feeling but I have been to the point of hopelessness and constant struggle to understand what or why God was doing. I can thankfully say that CR has helped me through so much that I would suggest it to anyone struggling with ANYTHING! I have seen marriages restored, lives changed and miracles happen over the past year of going! It's a healing, non-judgemental and therapeutic setting. I don't know if you have thought about going but it's such and awesome ministry and we would love to have you! Praying for you guys and your struggle.

  3. Jenn Wagner says:

    Donna, There is not an easy way to say this so here goes. I feel that sometimes we live very similar lives of Crap! It may not be the Same Crap but it sure is Crap! CR is not for everyone. It helps some but to be honest it is not all it is cracked up to be. I trully enjoy reading your blog. I love to read it and see that I am not the only one dealing with crap. I would love to write my thoughts like you do but everything i do is monitored. So sometimes I can not say what I want to say.