Pro-Lifers sometimes confuse me

I am pro-life. I do not believe that women should kill their unborn children. I have a deep conviction that all life is precious and that life begins at the moment of conception. Most people who hold the stance of being pro-life also hold these same convictions.

However, sometimes those who claim to be pro-life confuse me.

Recently a friend at work experienced a miscarriage. She called me crying because of the painful things her family and friends who claim to be pro-life had said to her.  Her mother said,  “Well, you wern’t that far along, you can try again soon.” As a person who is pro-life this angers me to no end. How in the world can others who claim to be pro-life not express one ounce of love or compassion toward those who suffer the loss of a much wanted child.  My friends mother believes that life begins at conception, however she is dismissing the loss because of the early stage in which it happened. She would never accept an early stage of pregnancy as a valid reason for an abortion. So it is hard to understand how she can she easily dismiss the miscarriage of her grandchild. Additionally,  lost children are NOT replaceable. Another baby at another time will not replace the baby that was lost.

My friend then told me that a friend of hers said, “with the economy being the way it is, maybe a baby is not a good idea at this time.” I can just see in my mind all of the pro-life people telling others “hey go get an abortion if you can’t afford a baby, its okay in this economy.” This comment is just wrong for so many reasons. Sure the economy is bad, but a loss of a child should not be looked at as an economic blessing.

Trying to comfort a person who is grieving a miscarriage using comments like these is confusing and less than helpful. These kinds of comments  marginalize the life of the child that was lost. Comments like these indicate that grief is not appropriate because the loss is not a great loss, and what has been lost is replaceable.  People who claim to be pro-life really need to examine their response to those who experience miscarriage. If you are really pro-life you should grieve with the parents and not brush off the feelings, emotions, and loss of the child so easily. If you think responding to someone going through a miscarriage is hard, think about how hard living the experience must be for them.

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