Are you a selfish parent?

A few days ago during a routine conversation a co-worker was attacked for planning a short trip that did not include her children. The attacker told the other person that it is selfish for parents to take vacations and leave the kids at home. She went on to belittle the parenting skills of the other mother. I was more than a little shocked at the statements that were made by the attacker.

I totally disagree with the statement that parents who take trips without kids are selfish. I fully believe that it is in the best interest of the family for parents to have time away without the kids. It is also important for kids to have time away from their parents.  David and I try to do a short trip each year that does not include the kids. These trips enable us to work on US and forget about the kids for just a short time. We normally return from these trips rested, relaxed and ready to take on the world (well at least ready to take on 2 kids). We also try to do a few family trips each year, so its not like we are going off having all the fun and leaving the kids out.

It is important for parents to intentionally work on their marriage. I know of  some marriages that have ended because the parents always put the kids first and did not work on improving or building their own relationships. The value of developing and improving a relationship is not selfish.  Spending time alone without the kids is one of the most valuable gifts parents can give to their children. In the long run this time spent alone may help the relationship between the parents which will in turn effect the relationship with the kids.

Child free vacations are not selfish, they are healthy and sometimes needed.

I can’t wait for our next vacation without the kids, its been about a year since our last one and its about time for another one.  Anyone want to volunteer to keep my kids for a few days?

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One Response to “Are you a selfish parent?”

  1. Jo says:

    Like we don’t feel guilty enough leaving our kids behind without someone else rubbing it in. I love my daughter, but the one trip I took without her was so rejuvenating. Good for you on making it a priority to get away with your significant other sans children. This is something we need to be more mindful of, but it easily gets pushed to the wayside.