If you know me you have more than likely defined who I am based on your relationship, perceptions, and interactions with me. Those people reading this who don’t know me will more than likely form a definition of me based on what they find on this blog. Too often we define a person based on our first impression of them. Sometimes first impressions can be horribly wrong depending on the timing and circumstances of when we first come in contact with someone. Sometimes we define a person based on one event and use that event to prevent a relationship from forming. At other times we allow one event to change our perception of a person which is usually unfair depending on the circumstance.
I have heard many different words used to describe and define who I am. Of course these definitions vary based on the context in which people know me.
Each year my students have to complete a survey for me to mail to the state. One of the questions on the survey says to describe a trait of your Work Based Learning Coordinator that helps or hinders their job completion. I laugh when I read what students have to say. The response to this question is usually good if they student got an A in the course, or not so good if they failed the class. Words students used to describe me this year include: nice, friendly, helpful, ill, busy, rushed, compassionate, uncaring, caring, mean, firm, accommodating, rude, witch, icy, intimidating, and so many more. I had 78 students this past year and for the most part they all used different words to describe me.
Even department members at work define me using different words. As the chair of the department I have to make many decisions that deal with money, scheduling, and duties. It appears that those who used good words to define me got what they wanted, while those who used negative words to define me did not get what they wanted or needed. Words used by department members to describe me included: fair, thoughtful, selfish, bias, ambitious, ethical, harsh, organized, and demanding.
Family, friends, and acquaintances also define me differently based on their relationship with me. I have had friends and family defriend me on Facebook because during a time of pain and loss they thought I was “too emotional, jealous, and judgmental.” During the same time period other family and friends called me strong, a champion, and a fighter. Others define me using words and phrases such as: loving, family oriented, understanding, there to help, good, truthful, interested in the welfare of others, caring, nice, smart, hardworking, shy, fragile, reserved, quiet, dependable, dedicated, home kid, damaged, mean, condescending, selfish, and stuck-up.
I cannot be all things to all people. To some I am a judgmental witch and to others I am a kind, caring, and compassionate person. I cannot make those who don’t like me like me. I can not change the opinion of others if they don’t want to change. I cannot change the past or the events that occurred to shape my personality. All I can do is to be the best me possible at all times.
*Part 4- Coming soon