Our daughters are watching

nothidingHey moms…. your daughters are watching you. They watch when you only eat lettuce for dinner. They watch when you beat yourself up over your pants being a little tighter than they were last time you wore them. They watch when you step on the scale and start to cry. They watch when you hide yourself in the back of the family pictures. They watch and they are learning from you.

They are learning to starve themselves. They are learning to berate themselves. They are learning to let numbers on a scale define their self worth.  They are learning to hide from themselves, their families and from others. Is this what we really want to teach our daughters?

In my job I see girls starving, berating, crying, and hiding everyday. These girls think they are doing a great job hiding the “diet” they are on. They think that everyone will love them more and pay more attention to them once they reach that perfect number on the scale. They think that their self image and confidence will improve once they get the perfect body. Oh how wrong they are. I see girls that are unhealthy but do not even know how unhealthy they are. I don’t want this for my daughter.

My goal is for my daughter not to feel that a scale or dress size defines her. My goal is to raise a healthy happy daughter, that in turn will raise healthy and happy children. I want my daughter to love herself for who she is. I want my daughter to love others because of who they are not what they look like.

I am working on my health and fitness. I am working on dropping some pounds. However, we don’t use the word diet in our home. We are not on a diet. We are eating healthy to make our bodies healthy. We make wise choices with food because what you put inside your body can affect how you feel physically. We don’t say a food is “off limits”  however we do say that some foods are “sometimes foods.”  Meaning they should not be eaten very often.

We do not dread exercise. We exercise not because it will make us skinny but because it helps to make our bodies stronger. We exercise because it is good for our heart, our blood pressure, and mom’s bad knee. We exercise because it helps our mind to clear.

These are the things I am teaching my daughter about food and exercise.

How are you teaching your daughters that weight and size are not what matters?


Photo:  My 1st selfie. I admit I hide behind the camera. I need to stop doing that because my daughter is watching and I don't want her to feel she has to hide behind the camera.

2 Responses to “Our daughters are watching”

  1. Misty says:

    You should take more selfies, because your hair always looks really good.

    I appreciate this post. Bobby and I have talked about the fact that we are glad we don’t have girls and don’t have to deal with a lot of the particular issues you’ve mentioned (though boys come with their own set off issues!). We are really worried about my niece (she’s 15) right now because she’s going through some of what you describe, and her mom’s (my sister’s) attitude isn’t nearly as healthy as yours.

  2. Donna says:

    Thank you so much for the compliment. My hair is really my best feature. I feel blessed that it is so thick and healthy. I am trying to come from behind the camera to in front of it so maybe you all will get to see more selfies. My attitude did not happen over night it has taken years to evolve, and mostly changed with the arrival of Madilyn. It changes more as she grows and is starting to copy me to be like me.

    You are so right boys come with an entire different set of issues. I am thankful that somehow we got our son through 18 years and he seems to be doing well. I am sorry to hear about your niece. Hopefully, you and other women in her life can be the examples for her to follow.