trustTrust is the one word that keeps coming to mind lately. I have a difficult time with trust, and have been trying to be more trustful of others lately. However, right now the pharse that keeps coming to mind is, “Trust God with this.” Now that I think about it I have had a lack of trust when it comes to God.

God is telling me to trust him with my children. I know that if I trust him with them he will give us clear direction on the decisions that we need to make for them.  He will give us the words that we need to say to them.

I struggled for months with a decision that I knew we needed to make concerning Madilyn. She has been having a rough time in school for several years now. We did everything that we could think to do to help her. Nothing worked. Changing her diet did not work. Removing sugar and man made impossible to pronounce ingredients did not help. Limiting her screen time did not help. All that accomplished was her driving me crazy because she was in my face needing and wanting attention every single waking hour. It led me to pure exhaustion both physically and mentally. My teaching her at home did not help. She fell more behind with each passing day. I became exhausted to the point of tears and felt like a failure of a mother and a teacher.  No amount of punishment or rewards could make her absorb the information or control her impulsive behavior.

Madilyn herself began to be upset all of the time. She referred to herself as stupid because she was not learning like other kids her age. She felt bad because she was always in trouble at school. Her self-confidence dropped and she basically gave up learning because she felt like she could not learn. She felt terrible because she knew that David and I were disappointed in her behavior and educational performance.

I heard God’s voice telling me to trust him, that it would be okay. God reminded me that we had to make the same choice with Caleb and he turned out totally awesome. We did what others told us not to do— we medicated her. Even though people say it is a lack of parenting it is not. It is a brain issue. I resisted turning to medication because of the stereotypes that are currently out there. I did not want to be the parent that rushed to medication. I did not want to be seen as a failure. We have known Madilyn was ADHD since she was about 4 years old, we resisted the medication because of the way parents and kids of ADHD are labeled. We did more  harm then good by waiting.

In just two weeks time the change in her is astounding. She is still the same Madilyn, she is just able to focus, learn, and think before acting.  She has had a total turn around she is now excelling in school. She is catching up to her peers at a rapid rate. She is no longer struggling and feeling like a disappointment to her teachers or her parents. She is still Madilyn, but she is no longer having to struggle with learning and impulsive behaviors. That’s a win in my book.

I don’t understand it. Why do some kids need medication to succeed and others do not. Why are some people born with imbalances in their brains and others are not. God gave us technology and science for a reason, and we are going to use it as much as we need in order to enable her to be successful.

I have been praying for my son for the past several months that God would guide him and direct his paths. I hear God clearly saying to me, “trust me.” However, for some reason I feel hesitant. Maybe it is because as a parent I am in uncharted waters. College….. so much can happen that a single second can change a life forever. But God is telling me to trust him.

“Trust Me, with your children” He says. I say, “God help me put my trust in you, help me trust you more.”


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