Several months ago someone hurt me very deeply. We tried to explain to the person how their actions had hurt me to no avail. Our approaching the person about the situation only made things more complicated and made the hurt I was feeling even worse. To this day I still have trouble thinking of the person without having my feelings of hurt resurface. Several times I have had very unchristian and thoughts of revenge toward the person. It is natural for us to seek revenge against those who have caused us pain. As children of God, we need to extend forgiveness and love to those who have caused us pain. This is much easier said than done. According to God’s word we should not seek revenge on those who hurt us.
Verse: Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord (Romans 12:19).
When we seek revenge:
- we lower ourselves to levels that God does not want us to go to
- we put our own spiritual lives at risk
- we prevent ourselves from releasing our hurt and pain
- we go against what God has told us to do in his word
- we are saying to God that we do not trust him do what he says he will do
The reality is that most of the time when people hurt others emotionally they do not realize they have done so. That is not the case with this situation because the person knows that their actions hurt me. The person will not acknowledge, admit or apologize for their hurtful actions. I am sure that this person has not lost any sleep over the situation, as I have. While I don’t think that my relationship with this person will ever be the same, I think it would be helpful for me to try to put the hurtful things they said and did to me out of my mind. It will be hard but I am going to try. There is nothing I can do to make them understand or acknowledge how their actions toward me have affected me. One day they may have people say and do hurtful things to them, maybe then they will realize how much hurt and pain they have caused.
Donna:
I have been going thru the same exact thing for the last several weeks. As a recovering shopaholic, and having gone thru the Celebrate Recovery Steps, I will share with you how I have handled this. While it still hurts because the wound is fresh, I know that God is healing me. According to the steps, I had to figure out what my part in the hurt was. (there are always 2 sides) Then I wrote a letter asking them to forgive me for my part. Whether they ever come back and apologize for their part is on them. But by admitting my fault and confessing it and asking for forgiveness, I can move on. I now can actually pray for this person and know that I harbor no ill will toward them. If I were to see them tomorrow, I can honestly say that I would be able to speak to them without anger.
I also wanted to tell you that I love reading your blogs and the honesty that you put in them. It lets me know that there are others out there that face the same things I face and sometimes they have a better way of handling them than I do.
I hope that you and David have a great get-away.
Thank you for your comments Renee. You are right there are always 2 sides, and I have dealt with my part and that is all I can do, I can’t compel the other party in this situation to do anything. I do pray for them and most of the time feel no ill will, but on occasion I wish they would get a taste of their own medicine so to speak, but I am really working on overcoming those feelings.